I've been asked a few times this past month "Why have you been running so much lately?" Those people apparently don't know that for the past 11 weeks I've been training for a half marathon.
Training for the half has been an amazing experience. I have pushed myself to limits I never thought possible and have run distances that I never imagined. Yes, I am running the half for myself, but I'm also running it for Nathan.
I don't know what the future will hold for Nate. I don't know if he will have to live with us for the rest of his life. I would hope that as he grows and matures, he gains a sense of responsibility and can move out on his own. I don't know for sure if this will be possible. If he does happen to be able to move out on his own, I'm turning off all the water in his place before he moves in :-)
I'm running for Nate because I know that I need to live and stay healthy for him as long as I can. I'm still young and in good health, and I believe that running, exercising, and taking care of myself will lengthen my life and allow me to help out Nathan for even longer.
I worry that something will happen to Matt and myself, leaving Nate and Evan alone. I worry that when Evan is an adult he won't want to help Nate (if help is needed). Running gives me a sense of hope that I will continue to stay healthy and that I can be there to help out Nathan (and Evan as well) for as long as possible.
When I run, I'm able to sort through so many thoughts. I love to run with a buddy, but running alone helps me clear out all the things that are going on in my mind. I can de-stress, have an hour to myself, and just clear my mind. I truly believe that this makes me a better mom. I can take a break from my kids and when I come back to them I'm a better person. I'm healthier, calmer, and think (at least for a little while) that I have some answers.
So, when you ask why I run, my answer will be short and simple. I run for Nate.