Agony of Defeat

I can't even begin to express how I'm feeling right now.  Things have been completely out of control at my house, and I'm about to lose my mind.

I'm the mom who yells.  I'm not the mom who yells occasionally, I'm the mom who yells Every.  God. Damn. Day.  I don't just yell, I scream.  I get so mad and irritated at the things that Nathan does.  We've tried punishment, we've tried taking things away, we've tried bribery.  Nothing works at all.  He just doesn't care.

Today I cleaned up about a gallon of water from the kitchen counter.  He thinks it's really funny to turn the kitchen faucet so it's facing to the side and then turn the water on.  Well know what happens then?  You guessed it, water gets all over the fucking counter.  Guess who has to clean it up?  Me.  Me and Matt.  It takes about 6-8 towels (bath towel size) to contain the mess.  Did I mention this happens about 4 times a week?

Nate got put in his room while I was cleaning up the water mess.  Well he didn't want to be in there so guess what I found when I opened the door?  I found his full laundry basket turned upside down, pillows on the floor, clothes ripped out of his closet, an entire box of wipes pulled out of the container, and random things thrown off of his dresser.  Nate cleaned up most of it under my supervision, but that won't stop things like this from happening in the future.

He wanted some fruit snacks before dinner.  The answer was a simple no.  I don't mind him having some after he eats, and that's what I told him.  Well, that wasn't good enough.  He decided to climb up on the counter and get them himself.  I caught him doing this, and told him to get down.  He was so pissed off when I took the fruit snacks out of his hand. so he decided to take a glass bowl and throw it on the ground.  Great, another mess that I have to clean up.

The boys were locked in the basement while I vacuumed up the glass.  Again, Nate is not happy being confined, so he throws another fit.  I enter the basement to find the DVD rack completely spilled out and DVDs all over the place.  My Scentsy candle warmer on the floor (good thing he didn't break that, because it would be the second time that happened), couch cushions on the floor and the ottoman overturned.

I lost it.  I completely lost my fucking mind.  I don't think I've cried this hard in a long time.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I can't control my kid.  I hate this feeling, and I can't stand dealing with his tantrums/outbursts/fits/destructiveness.  My house is turning in to one huge shithole because we can't keep anything nice anymore.  Most of the time I don't even bother cleaning up his mess because I know in 10 minutes it will be ruined again.  Nate just destroys everything.  I feel so defeated.  I'm fed up, frustrated, and ready to give up.