Someone tell me what I'm doing wrong, and what I need to do to make things right!!!!!
That is what my life feels like right now. We had a neurologist appointment today, and for almost the entire appointment, Nate laid on the floor screaming. Who knows what he wanted? Not any of us.
We talked to the doctor, expressed our concerns and why Nate isn't listening to us, but IS listening to everyone else. Basically he just referred us to another specialist. He wants Nate to see a Psychologist in the UH Sleep Clinic. OMG, another friggin specialist?!?!?!?
We spent 45 minutes listening to Nate throw a fit in the office, while trying to talk over the noise. The Dr. (I'm gonna call him Jack) took notice of the tantrum but wasn't overly concerned, saying that there were no tears so he most likely wasn't that upset, just mad because he was locked in the office with us. He pretty much disregarded his Apraxia and PDD-NOS diagnosis, saying yeah he could have those issues, but that doesn't tell us WHY he's acting this way. Ummm, this will be the last time we visit Jack(ass).
Our hopes are busted. We were hoping (yet again) to leave his office with some answers, some guidance, something other than another name to look up and make an appointment with. We left with nothing except a screaming 6 1/2 year old. We've been directed to so many different specialists and I just want ONE to help us out. I'm tired of tests, blood work, appointments, therapies, etc.
According to Jack (the Doctor), since Nate is only acting up around us, it's probably not a global concern. We are basically the problem and we need to figure out what is going on with us in order to figure things out with him. I guess we need to figure out why Nate feels like he can treat us like shit. Why Nate feels like he can take advantage of us. Why Nate feel like he doesn't have to listen to us, and laugh in our faces when we try to discipline him. Why Nate completely disregards basically everything that we ask of him.
I don't want to see another doctor. I don't want to fight with my child. I don't want to yell. I don't want to have a battle every night at bedtime. I don't want to feel this way anymore.
I want to know how I can fix things, and get my child back to the happy well-behaved boy that he used to be.
Hi Adrianne. I am so sorry. You are a great mom and you are the best advocate for Nate. I have 3 kids...typically developing but they all have there individual quirks which are challenging in and of themself at times and then when you combine the dynamics of all three personalities, the challenge increases. Parenting I often say is the greatest, hardest endeavor rolled into one. As I have learned through my own kids, and through my experience with kids in the last 18 years at work, all kids act out the most for their parents...their most comfortable place...so hard on us but it's their most comfortable outlet. I equate it to where the brunt off my frustrations and stresses land...on my husband:). Children get testier as they get older and the challenge to us parents gets harder. I went to talk to a psychologist about my daughter a year and a half ago because I was having such conflict with her. I talked, vented, learned and began to understand in just one session. I have challenges indeed, with each of my children which each personality needing different...very different ways of dealing with them. I also have learned through work and through my own kids that behaviors become bad habits for which the cycle has to be broken somehow. I feel for you and am keeping you in my thoughts. I know you have been through a lot, and I have so much respect and compassion for you and all parents out there with special needs children and your challenges. Some parents stand out for their kindness, love and compassion for their kids...you were one of them. Have a better day today. I would love to meet for coffee or a drink with you. And if you ever need someone to watch Nate, I can do that...would love to see him. ~Jan Kmitt
ReplyDeleteWhat a jerk for telling you that you're the problem--are you kidding me?! You guys are great parents to both of your kids--this doctor is an idiot.
ReplyDelete